Expecting Another Baby

To many peoples surprise (including myself and Malik) in March of this year we discovered that we had been blessed with another gorgeous little baby. Unlike the beginning of my pregnancy with Casia, this time I had absolutely no signs of early pregnancy at all. Not even a little thought that “oh maybe I am”.

However on Monday 18th March 2019 I took a test and discovered that we were having another baby! I had such a mixture of emotions and honestly fear was one of them. Can I do this? Will I manage? Two babies under the age of two am I “crazy”? But the first things that came to me was Casia. She’s still so little. So dependent and honestly I felt a huge amount of guilt towards her that she wouldn’t get the “attention” that she’d need. As the time has gone by I have realised how incredible it is, that she will get all the attention and she will have a best friend to grow with and to experience all of life’s many adventures with and even more amazing she will have a sibling to tell all about it to. Almost all of my best memories from childhood involve my brothers and sisters and Casia will be so lucky to share hers with her sibling.

My family weren’t overly surprised that we were expecting another. Some members of the family even had a bet to see how many months I could go before we told them we were having another baby. I guess it was pretty obvious to them as well as to myself how much motherhood is my purpose in life. And that’s it. Motherhood is my purpose. Before having children to be quite frankly honest I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Everyday was the same not really knowing what I was working towards as I put on my “quick money making stop of a job” uniform on. Finding out I was pregnant changed everything, I woke up everyday determined and motivated with my life. After giving birth I realised that this, this is the thing I had been getting up everyday waiting to happen. Motherhood that is my job and that is my purpose.

I know that when our second baby is here everything will change again. The nights will get a little longer, the bags under my eyes will get a little darker and the love in my heart will get a whole lot bigger. But I couldn’t be more excited for this next chapter!

I don’t know who you’ll be or how you’ll act but I know with every single little piece of me that you will be loved endlessly, not only from me, your mother but also your daddy and your older sister.

How I’ve Changed Since Becoming A Mother

Being a mother is my most biggest and proudest achievement. Before having Casia I had a life that I didn’t really know what I wanted to do with it. Now, I wake everyday with a purpose. A reason to do better in life as it’s not just for me anymore for the rest of my life I’ll have a beautiful little girl looking up to me for advice and inspiration.

It’s not easy to go from looking after myself and thinking of just me to suddenly over night a little person needs my attention twenty four hours a day.

I’ve matured massively since being a mummy and even falling pregnant. I’ve made decisions that to some may have been hard to hear but I did it for a better life for myself and my daughter. Sometimes you have to be harsh and blunt as a mother because your child can’t talk or tell you what they want so you have to make decisions which you think benefit their life. This comes in every situation in life. Even when Casia is older I will still be there to support the decisions she makes as an adult and be by her side through everything in life.

So this is only a short one but it’s something that’s important. You will never know love until you meet your baby and realise that for the rest of your life you are their soul protector.

Six Week Countdown

IMG_2678

I am finally in my thirty-forth week of pregnancy with under six weeks to go. Even the thought of being able to say I’m full term in under three weeks is crazy.  Saying that is giving me so much excitement to say the least. The fact that I’ve already been pregnant for 240 days is quite surreal to me. Although to some it feels like these eight months have flown by but to me it couldn’t be going any slower! I am so ready for her to be here now and I’m getting very impatient and this heat wave that we are currently having in the UK really isn’t helping. I feel I’ve been a grumpy hormonal mess these last couple of weeks. I really do have to give credit to my boyfriend Malik for putting up with my constant mood swings and twitching in the middle of the night.

IMG_2600
These last couple of weeks have definitely been the most challenging for me. My back pain is starting to become painful which is making even the smallest of tasks a bigger challenge than it needs to be. I’ve still been suffering with pelvic pain which has been something that I’ve had since quite early on in my pregnancy but I’ve now started pregnancy yoga at my local hospital which has been helping massively with easing the pain. It’s also nice to meet other expecting mothers around the same age and similar situations to me.

IMG_2631

Sleeping through the night is a distant memory and that’s okay. At least my body is in some ways getting used to running on little to no sleep. After all I’m sure I won’t get much sleep when she is here anyway.

Me and Malik are trying to spend some time together as the two of us before two becomes three. Nothing over the top but just little things like watching a tv programme and just chatting. It’s nice to still remember that it’s the two of us too. I think once people have a baby they can forget about the fact that your partner is still important too, so it’s good to spend time the two of us for a little while longer.

I had my 34 week growth scan this week which isn’t something everyone has in pregnancy but its nice to see her little face before she arrives. She’s growing perfectly and currently weights 4lbs 5oz and growing in the right direction. My midwife has scheduled another growth scan at 37 week and if all is still good with her growth which they don’t really have much concern about at the moment I have been given the all clear to hopefully deliver on the Birth Unit. Which is something that I would love but I’m not going to get my hopes up one any set birth plan, as long as we are both healthy and well and she arrives It really doesn’t matter to me how she gets here.

I have so much to look forward to over the next six weeks. I have now officially started my maternity leave so I’m able to relax and enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy. I also have my baby shower next week which is something that I’ve been excited about since my sisters sent me my invitation. And obviously the fact that my daughter is due in 5 and a half weeks.

I’m loving every part of this journey and I really can not wait to be a mum!

Good-Bye Second Trimester

Goodbye Second Trimester

I’m less than a week away from entering my third and final trimester, and I’ve never felt three days go by so slowly in my life. It’s pretty surreal to me that I’ve done almost twenty-eight weeks out of forty of my pregnancy already. It’s been such an incredible journey so far and this really is only the beginning. It’s been difficult. There has been lots of tears, but there has also been lots of laughs. So many milestones have been met this trimester. We found out the sex of our gorgeous little girl at sixteen weeks, I cried so many happy tears that day. We had the most incredible experience at Early Life Ultrasound Clinic in my local town with a 3D scan, seeing her face properly for the first time was something that still makes me emotional now. Since then we have had another 3D scan at twenty-four weeks and the change and growth rate is amazing to see.

I felt my baby kick for the first time, and my goodness was it the most amazing feeling! It’s been so nice for my boyfriend Malik to be able to feel and see her kicking this trimester too. I think it’s made it so much more real for him now. Obviously with the two of us both still being young, this pregnancy isn’t something that we had planned this year and it’s okay to say that. But it is something that now it’s happening to the both of us, we couldn’t really see our lives going in any other direction. Malik often will sit with his hand on my tummy to feel her kicking and those really are the moments that I treasure. One day when she’s old enough to understand I’ll tell her all the funny moments of when she would kick her dad when he was singing to her. Maybe it’s her way of telling him that he really shouldn’t quit his day job!

IMG_2317

I overcame the hideous sickness that was leaving me bedridden for weeks and finally regained my appetite so that my taste buds came back into action. Along with that, my cravings have come into full swing. Ice. Oh how much I love you at the moment. I’ll sit and eat bowls at a time. Four AM ice crunching is becoming a daily occurrence. The thought of it makes my mouth water the way others water when they hear about steak or something like that.

My growing baby has been making me extremely tired and my back is really beginning to hurt. So I’m spending an awful lot of time in the bath and with Malik massaging the bottom of it. That brings me onto another thing, I’ve had a lot more scans in my pregnancy than the average pregnant women. I’ve also had two extra growth scans scheduled for twenty seven and thirty four weeks as my midwife was concerned she was a little on the smaller side. But, after having a scan it seems to be all okay at the moment and she weighs a healthy 2.7lbs and is growing in the right direction. I’m still slowly learning to accept my changing body but I’m no longer hiding away in baggy tops and leggings, I’ll show her off to the world now. After all, she’s the pinnacle of my life. It took some time for my bump to actually make an appearance but she’s defiantly showing herself now!

I have so much to look forward to in this trimester. My daughter will be welcomed into the world and life of being a mummy will be well and truly underway. See you in twelve weeks my flower I can’t wait for our life and memories to start!