Six Week Countdown

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I am finally in my thirty-forth week of pregnancy with under six weeks to go. Even the thought of being able to say I’m full term in under three weeks is crazy.  Saying that is giving me so much excitement to say the least. The fact that I’ve already been pregnant for 240 days is quite surreal to me. Although to some it feels like these eight months have flown by but to me it couldn’t be going any slower! I am so ready for her to be here now and I’m getting very impatient and this heat wave that we are currently having in the UK really isn’t helping. I feel I’ve been a grumpy hormonal mess these last couple of weeks. I really do have to give credit to my boyfriend Malik for putting up with my constant mood swings and twitching in the middle of the night.

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These last couple of weeks have definitely been the most challenging for me. My back pain is starting to become painful which is making even the smallest of tasks a bigger challenge than it needs to be. I’ve still been suffering with pelvic pain which has been something that I’ve had since quite early on in my pregnancy but I’ve now started pregnancy yoga at my local hospital which has been helping massively with easing the pain. It’s also nice to meet other expecting mothers around the same age and similar situations to me.

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Sleeping through the night is a distant memory and that’s okay. At least my body is in some ways getting used to running on little to no sleep. After all I’m sure I won’t get much sleep when she is here anyway.

Me and Malik are trying to spend some time together as the two of us before two becomes three. Nothing over the top but just little things like watching a tv programme and just chatting. It’s nice to still remember that it’s the two of us too. I think once people have a baby they can forget about the fact that your partner is still important too, so it’s good to spend time the two of us for a little while longer.

I had my 34 week growth scan this week which isn’t something everyone has in pregnancy but its nice to see her little face before she arrives. She’s growing perfectly and currently weights 4lbs 5oz and growing in the right direction. My midwife has scheduled another growth scan at 37 week and if all is still good with her growth which they don’t really have much concern about at the moment I have been given the all clear to hopefully deliver on the Birth Unit. Which is something that I would love but I’m not going to get my hopes up one any set birth plan, as long as we are both healthy and well and she arrives It really doesn’t matter to me how she gets here.

I have so much to look forward to over the next six weeks. I have now officially started my maternity leave so I’m able to relax and enjoy these last few weeks of pregnancy. I also have my baby shower next week which is something that I’ve been excited about since my sisters sent me my invitation. And obviously the fact that my daughter is due in 5 and a half weeks.

I’m loving every part of this journey and I really can not wait to be a mum!

Good-Bye Second Trimester

Goodbye Second Trimester

I’m less than a week away from entering my third and final trimester, and I’ve never felt three days go by so slowly in my life. It’s pretty surreal to me that I’ve done almost twenty-eight weeks out of forty of my pregnancy already. It’s been such an incredible journey so far and this really is only the beginning. It’s been difficult. There has been lots of tears, but there has also been lots of laughs. So many milestones have been met this trimester. We found out the sex of our gorgeous little girl at sixteen weeks, I cried so many happy tears that day. We had the most incredible experience at Early Life Ultrasound Clinic in my local town with a 3D scan, seeing her face properly for the first time was something that still makes me emotional now. Since then we have had another 3D scan at twenty-four weeks and the change and growth rate is amazing to see.

I felt my baby kick for the first time, and my goodness was it the most amazing feeling! It’s been so nice for my boyfriend Malik to be able to feel and see her kicking this trimester too. I think it’s made it so much more real for him now. Obviously with the two of us both still being young, this pregnancy isn’t something that we had planned this year and it’s okay to say that. But it is something that now it’s happening to the both of us, we couldn’t really see our lives going in any other direction. Malik often will sit with his hand on my tummy to feel her kicking and those really are the moments that I treasure. One day when she’s old enough to understand I’ll tell her all the funny moments of when she would kick her dad when he was singing to her. Maybe it’s her way of telling him that he really shouldn’t quit his day job!

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I overcame the hideous sickness that was leaving me bedridden for weeks and finally regained my appetite so that my taste buds came back into action. Along with that, my cravings have come into full swing. Ice. Oh how much I love you at the moment. I’ll sit and eat bowls at a time. Four AM ice crunching is becoming a daily occurrence. The thought of it makes my mouth water the way others water when they hear about steak or something like that.

My growing baby has been making me extremely tired and my back is really beginning to hurt. So I’m spending an awful lot of time in the bath and with Malik massaging the bottom of it. That brings me onto another thing, I’ve had a lot more scans in my pregnancy than the average pregnant women. I’ve also had two extra growth scans scheduled for twenty seven and thirty four weeks as my midwife was concerned she was a little on the smaller side. But, after having a scan it seems to be all okay at the moment and she weighs a healthy 2.7lbs and is growing in the right direction. I’m still slowly learning to accept my changing body but I’m no longer hiding away in baggy tops and leggings, I’ll show her off to the world now. After all, she’s the pinnacle of my life. It took some time for my bump to actually make an appearance but she’s defiantly showing herself now!

I have so much to look forward to in this trimester. My daughter will be welcomed into the world and life of being a mummy will be well and truly underway. See you in twelve weeks my flower I can’t wait for our life and memories to start!

 

Change

Change

My body is changing. Everyday something new changes. My tummy gets a little rounder, my belly button pops a little more, my face gets a little chubbier and my feet are becoming something I can’t see when I stand up anymore. The thought of this scares me a little. The fact that although it’s my body, I don’t really have any control of it anymore. The thing that scares me the most is the fact that I know this is only the beginning.

My body is changing. Everyday something new changes. My skin gets a little more stretched, my legs get a little chunkier, My feet are becoming something I can’t see when I stand up anymore. The thought of all of this worries me.

Will he still look at me like I’m the same person? Am I still the girl that was there before I got pregnant? Will he still love me the same? But then I stopped and I thought to myself. Yes my body is changing, Yes things are growing and yes it’s okay to be scared, these things aren’t happening because I’m eating chocolate bar after chocolate bar, they aren’t happening because I’m not doing enough exercise. These things are happening because I’m growing new life and it’s a magical thing. I won’t be the same person I was last year because that’s not who I am anymore.  I won’t even be the same person I am now, in six months time or even ten. Things are changing, but things are changing for the better. I’m changing from a teenager to a mother. I’m changing from thinking about myself to thinking about my family, my daughter.

It’s okay to be worried and It’s okay to be scared I think everyone gets like that from time to time. But always remember your worth. Remember that change can be hard but boy can it be good. So much is going to carry on changing for me over the next couple months to a year and now I’m excited to see what happens rather than scared to see what’s around the corner.

Real Friends And Real Life

Real Life and Real Friends

Something I have realised since becoming pregnant is who really are my friends. Normally when you tell them that you’re expecting a baby, you’re a lot further along in life and most people have decided to have children at an age where they in some ways “have their lives together”. I don’t really like that saying but it sort of fits here. Although the amount of younger parents is becoming more and more and I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. As long as you’re willing and able to do anything for your children I personally don’t think that age should even be mentioned.

However when telling your friends when you’re at an age where most people are far from thinking about children, people don’t understand the effects that pregnancy has on the body and the mind also. I guess you could say that unfortunately some of the people around you just aren’t mature enough to understand that the body, mind and feelings change when you are carrying a child. I’ve personally had an experience like this and honestly it hurt me more than I ever really thought it would.

Being pregnant at an age where normally people my age are still experimenting with their lives, going out clubbing and drinking every weekend. To now having nothing to do with that kind of lifestyle is hard, and that’s completely normal for me to say that.  I think if I wasn’t pregnant I’d be still doing these things too. You’re a reckless teenager with not a care in the world. You worry about yourself and that’s it. You don’t normally have to consider that you have any responsibilities for yourself or anyone else. From the moment I saw a positive line my life was never going to be drinking and clubbing anymore. It never was going to be about me and what I wanted and needed anymore. Everything I do from that point forward will be for my child and my family. Me, my daughter and boyfriend, that’s all that will matter to me anymore. I no longer have an interest in drinking and being a teenager. I seemed to age about ten years in the space of ten seconds.

At the start when I told my friends I was pregnant, they seemed so excited (they all are in the beginning) They non-stop talk about baby showers and clothes and it all seems so surreal to you as well as them.Then it becomes old news and normal life for them carries on. They go back to drinking and clubbing. Meals and cocktails whilst every Friday/Saturday night you’re at home in your pyjamas watching your old life through others snapchat stories. Honestly in the first couple of weeks after finding out this upset me a lot. In the end, I wouldn’t even bother to look at my phone on a weekend because I knew that it would do more upset than anything else. I felt extremely lonely and left out from this. I felt isolated and alone whilst I watched my friends enjoy their lives. In a moment of hormonal distress I decided I just needed to tell people how I was feeling and honestly It didn’t go the way I would have hoped. Eventually I realised that people that didn’t understand or could even try to understand the changes then really were they actually worth getting upset or being around. They don’t need to be in my child’s life and that’s okay. Unfortunately I did cut ties of with people that before I got pregnant meant a lot to me. People that I still think back to and smile about the memories that we shared. I don’t dislike any of these people, I simply feel like life has moved on. Turning another page in my life. I do sometimes sit back and think thank you. Thank you to those friends at the time that I shared lovely memories with and I hope you all do well and achieve the things you were working towards in life. One day when these people get pregnant hopefully they’ll understand how I felt, until then I’m sure they’ll have fun and being reckless young adults that they are.

On the other hand, the majority of my friends have stuck by my side. These are the friends that I know will be there for me now, when my baby is born and from then on. These are the friends that I can truly hand on heart say that I’m more than thankful and grateful to have around. These aren’t friends that live just around the corner, they’re friends that live hundreds of miles away. But these are my friends and they mean more to me than ever. We don’t see each other regularly. Unfortunately we can’t. But they’re the ones that I go to first about anything. They’re the ones that daily I will let them know how my baby is growing and ask them how they are. They’re my best friends and I love them. I know and they know that no matter what life throws our way, we’ll always have one another and I’m so grateful for them.

 

 

 

Managing Your Mental Health

Managing Your Mental Health

My name is Lucy welcome back to my blog. I was just thinking this morning about things that I’ve read in the past that have helped and encouraged me to do things when I’ve been struggling with my Mental Health and I thought I’d try and share some of the things that personally I do that helps me feel well and under control.
I’m currently nineteen years old and nineteen weeks pregnant. I have moved out of my family home where I did live with my mum and her boyfriend. I now live in a lovely little flat with my boyfriend. All we need now is our little girl to arrive. This may seem all happy and lovely but life hasn’t always been that way but then again, whose life is actually one hundred percent happy? Just like anyone I’ve had my struggles in life and that isn’t something I’m ashamed to speak openly about. Mental health. That tends to be two things that make people step back a little when you have the courage to say It’s something that you struggle with. In reality nearly everyone struggles with some type of mental health problems although some people can just mange it better than others. Unfortunately, I’m not one of the luckier ones to be able to say I can manage well with my mental health but it’s something that I still work with to manage on a daily basis. Just like anything, some days are better than others. I’ve learnt that keeping occupied and bringing structure into my life was one of the main things that has rapidly improved my mental health. Although saying that, even with structure sometimes it’s still difficult to keep on top of it.
My Top Three Tips
One –
Keeping routine
Like I said it’s important, therefore what I do seems to be quite repetitive on a daily basis but it helps me massively. I try and get out of bed at around the same time everyday (even when I don’t have work that day). Doing the same things even though it’s the same old same old helps me to feel well and under control.
Two –Eating regularly
I more than anyone can tell you how seriously important this is. It may seem like common sense to a lot of you but you’d be surprised how many people just don’t have the energy or even remember to eat when they’re struggling mentally.  Therefore what I try and do is stick to three meals a day including a snack in between if I feel peckish.  This doesn’t mean that you have to over feed yourself though, just purely remembering to eat regularly and healthily is something that has helped me stay on top of low mood and lack of motivation. It also gives me a lot more energy to try and do step three.
Three – Going Out Everyday
Leaving my house is something I tend to do everyday even when I’m not working. Even if it’s a walk around the park or a quick pop to the shops. Leaving your home and a) getting fresh air and b) seeing and interacting with different people is extremely important. You don’t have to do extravagant things and you also don’t need any money to do this. Simply just leaving your home helps lift mood and sometimes can reduce anxiety. (My own personal opinion).

I’m not by any means saying that this will “cure” your struggles but it certainly will help improve them. I also know that when feeling so under the grip of your struggles that it’s difficult to actually put into action any of these things. Sometimes I really can’t pull myself out of bed in the mornings but I try. These days are becoming less and less, which I’m very happy about. But dragging yourself out and sort of forcing yourself to do this in some sense is sometimes a must. I know it will be difficult, But I promise you’ll feel better in the long run.

Also please remember that if things ever get too much that there are people out there wanting to help and willing to listen to your problems and please also remember that you’re never alone.

Useful Numbers to know:

UNITED KINGDOM –
Child Line – 08001111 (UK)
Samaritans – 116123 (UK & ROI)
ZEST – 02871266999 (N.IRELAND)
Dabs Directory and Book Service – 07854653118 (UK – 24hour helpline)
British Red Cross Society – 03448711111 (UK)
UNITED STATES

US National Suicide Helpline – +1(800)2738255
Safe Helpline – 8779955247
AUSTRALIA
Life Line – 131112 (24 Hour)
Kids Helpline – 1800551800 (24 Hour)
Beyond Blue – 1300224636 (24 Hour)
CANADA
Suicide Action Montreal – 1-866APPELLE
YouthSpace – 7787830177 (Text Help Line)
FRANCE
Fil Sante jeunes – 0800235236
Suicide ecoute – 0145394000 (24 Hour)
SOS Suicide Phenix – 0140444645
GERMANY
Telefonseelsorge – 08001110111 (Protestant)
–  080011101222 (Catholic)
–  080011101333 (Children and Youth) 
NEW ZEALAND
Youth line – 0800376633 (Call)
– 234 (Text)
SOUTH AFRICA
Life Line – 0861322322 (24 Hour)
South African Depression and Anxiety Group – 0114224242
SPAIN
Telefono de la Esperanza – 717003717 (24 Hour)

Baby Flutters

Baby Flutters

When I first found out I was pregnant, there were endless emotions running through every part of my body. Should I be happy or sad? Excited or worried? Should I be embracing these changes or should I hide away? These were just a few and honestly at the beginning the thought of being entirely responsible for someone else petrified me! But at the same time seeing that positive line appear on the test was one of the most amazing days of my life. Although I have no idea what is going to happen over the next nine months of my life. The next forty weeks. I have no idea how my life will now turn out now I’m pregnant at nineteen. I couldn’t be more excited to experience this journey with the people I love the most in life.

I didn’t have the easiest start to my pregnancy, after managing to pluck up the courage to tell our families, which may I just say they reacted a lot better than I ever anticipated, things were difficult. I was struggling so much with hormones which is completely natural but at the time everything felt like the end of the world! I just seemed to cry over ridiculous things! I needed the people around me more than before and I became quite dependent on my loved ones for support. When I got to around three weeks after finding out, I was starting to get poorly. I had a lot of bleeding which obviously when finding out you’re pregnant isn’t something anyone would want to experience, the thought of something could go wrong was terrifying me! Luckily for me, my mum is a midwife so being able to get her support as well as medical experience to answer my every question has been amazing! She’s been at my beck and call day and night to answer even some of the stupidest questions, like can I have ice cream or can I go swimming. Which to my disappointment I can’t have a Mr. Whippy ice cream this summer. But I know I can have millions in the future with my baby on hot summer days.

Just before Christmas 2017 I became so ill. At the start I just thought it was morning sickness and didn’t think too much into it. I went over to my mums house one afternoon whilst my boyfriend was at work. My mum was worried as I wasn’t able to keep anything down and as everyone liked to tell me at the time “Luce you look like a ghost”. My mum rang my GP on my behalf and he prescribed endless sickness tablets that none seemed to even touch the surface of the sickness. Long story short later that evening an ambulance took me to hospital as my heart rate was higher than it should have been and I was in hospital for four/five nights, it sucked to be away from home and I was in constant fear that I could lose my precious baby! My boyfriends support when I was in hospital couldn’t have been better! He was my rock through that part and I don’t think I could have done it without him. The good thing was, when I was there I did get to see my baby for the very first time. Baby was so small only six weeks and one day. Looking like a baby turtle in the scan photo and I could barely see when I was having my scan due to my eyes filling with tear after seeing my baby’s heart beating away! That so far was the most incredible part of my pregnancy.

Time went by and I finally made it out of my first trimester, it seemed to last a life time rather than a couple of months. At twelve weeks we got to see our baby again and baby had grown so much, once again my eyes filled with tears of happiness!

Weeks have passed and I still feel like I’ve been pregnant for about two years. In reality I’m only eighteen weeks. But the most magical feeling yet is when I felt my little girl flutter, wriggle and kick me for the very first time! And that’s when it hit me, that I’m never alone, that I will forever have my little girl with me to go through life living and creating incredible memories with! I had no idea that being pregnant was the thing that would make me be the person I currently am! I had absolutely no idea that this was exactly what I’ve needed and been wanting in life. Sometimes the biggest surprises come with the most incredible feeling! I can’t wait to hold my daughter for the first time and tell her how much she’s completed my life. You’re everything I never knew I needed and I’ll love and protect you forever!